Because You Love Me
by devuhreegee
Summary: A revamp or rather prequel to Love in War. Lily has lost someone she loves very much and endures renewed hatred from her sister. The Marauders are trying to keep Remus's condition concealed while a vengeful Snape is determined to reveal it.
1. Chapter 1

After another hiatus, I have returned. I am attempting to revamp LIW...Cami and Cynthia are now Marlene and Dorcas respectively. I hope you enjoy this one.

I am not JK Rowling. All characters that you recognize belong to Queen Rowling. All others are made-ups (which I am going to try and keep to a minimum

There was a chill in the air that September morning. Autumn seemed to be on its way much earlier than anticipated. It was one of the last few days of summer in London and King's Cross Station was just slightly more occupied than usual. However, on the first of every September this was the norm. The students of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry were hurrying to Platform 9 ¾ to catch the Hogwarts Express. From there, it would push through the many landscapes of England and eventually to their home for the next ten months.

The year was 1976 and Lily Evans was about to start her sixth year at Hogwarts. Her long, deep copper tresses were cascading down in loose curls that hung down to her waist, but pulled away from her face with a simple russet colored headband. She should feel excited to start a new school year, but she didn't. All she really wanted was to see her friends.

She was alone in the Prefects carriage, and had her forehead pressed against the window, watching parents and children hugging and saying their goodbyes. It hurt a bit, really. Even though she was very much independent, she had hoped she'd get a proper send off. Her own mother had dropped her off early and left in a hurry so she could meet with a lawyer in London. Petunia hated her more now, if that was even possible. She would never be able to forget that heart-wrenching moment:

" _I'm so sorry. Mr. Evans did not make it. The damage to his heart was too great...he's gone." The Doctor did look truly sincere in his apology, and that made it too real for her. This had to be a nightmare...this couldn't be real._

 _Lily, shocked and confused, looked at her mum and Petunia, hoping to find a contradicting truth on one of their faces. Elaine, her mother, looked like she had been hit by a stunning spell and was clutching her chest. Petunia on the other hand had daggers in her eyes and they were directed at Lily. She didn't have to guess at what her sister was thinking and it was confirmed an hour later in a deserted hospital room. "This is all your fault! You could have saved him!" She shrieked._

" _Petunia, there is nothing I could have done! I don't know that kind of mag-" Lily was stopped short when her sister's hand slapped across her face. Clutching her cheek, she looked reproachfully at her sister, tears welling in her eyes._

" _DON'T!" Petunia had tears in her eyes as well, but they were angry tears, and her face was turning bright red. "I will NEVER forgive you for this!"_

Lily jumped at the sound of the compartment door sliding open.

"Sorry, Lily," Remus Lupin greeted her with a warm smile. He sat across from her, holding a book in his hands. Lily gave him a feeble smile.

"Hi, Remus. How was your holiday?" Conversation would hopefully distract her thoughts. She found when she talked or kept busy, it prevented her mind from wandering.

"It was fairly quiet, but I have no complaints." Remus shrugged indifferently. "Yours?"

Lily knew she should have seen that one worded question coming. In a lame attempt to steer the conversation in another direction she asked, "Do you know who the new Head Boy and Girl are this year?"

"I heard a rumor on the platform that Frank Longbottom and Alice Graves were chosen." Remus nodded, clearly showing his approval, if they did in fact receive the coveted badges.

Lily actually felt herself smile, which felt refreshing. "I heard that too. I hope it is them."

They were soon joined by the fifth and sixth year prefects from each house. Lily could feel the engine of the train rumbling and sure enough, the train lurched forward and the platform was slowly moving away. When Frank and Alice entered the compartment, Lily grinned. "I knew it!" The Head Boy and Girl both had somewhat embarrassed smiles on their faces, but still looked pleased with themselves and with each other.

"Well..." Frank started. "Shall we get this show on the road?"

"That's all we have for you today. Remember, Prefects meetings are the first Tuesday of every month." Alice stood up an hour later and clasped her hands together rather excitedly. "You're free to go."

Lily stood and watched as the others left. She felt Remus put a hand on her shoulder to hold her back. "What's going on, Lily?"

She faked a smile and shook her head. "I'm not sure I know what you're talking about."

Remus looked at her disbelievingly. "Lily, you said all of two words during the entire meeting and spent most of it staring out of the window."

Lily blinked. She was promised herself that she wouldn't be so obvious, but it looked like she had failed. After starring at Remus for a moment, she bowed her head and sat back down. "My dad died over the summer."

"Oh...I'm so sorry."

He did look it. One thing Lily knew that she could count on Remus for was that he was the most sincere person she knew. She smiled slightly. "thank you. I've started to move on, but it's my sisters attitude towards me that is bothering me the most."

Remus sat back down and leaned his elbows up on his knees. "Your sister...she is not fond of you being a witch, right?"

Lily nodded slowly. "It's ironic how she hates the fact that I'm a witch but blames me for not being able to use magic to save him."

"But you're not a Healer."

"She doesn't understand that or care. In her eyes...I killed my father." She buried her face in her hands and sighed heavily.

Remus straightened up, furrowing his eyebrows. "It's rather unfair for her to think that." Lily nodded again but was noticing a fresh, new scar across his cheek. Detecting Lily's gaze, Remus turned his face away.

"Remus..." Lily was remembering the accusations Severus had made against him. She was just about to ask him where all his scars came from, but she decided against it; she had a feeling that she wouldn't get a straight answer if she asked. If Severus' suspicions held any merit, she wouldn't blame Remus for being secretive. "I better go look for Marlene and Dorcas." She smiled at him, hoping that he would realize that if he needed someone to confide in, she could be that person.

Remus nodded. "Enjoy the rest of the journey, Lily."

Please review!


	2. Chapter 2

I hope you enjoyed the last chapter! I am having a lot of fun so far writing this fanfic. Please review! I appreciate constructive criticism.

Big thank you to my Beta reader who also happens to be my wonderful hubby.

Another thank you to The Struts for some amazing inspiration.

Chapter Two

Lily wasn't paying much attention to her surroundings as she walked to the compartment where Marlene and Dorcas were waiting for her. Perhaps that's why she was taken by surprise when someone grabbed her arm quite forcefully. "Lily..."

She whipped her head around to see a pale, dark haired boy with cold black eyes, and immediately felt her heart fall into her stomach. "Sev..." She pulled her arm out of his grip, and rolled her eyes. "I can't talk right now."

Severus Snape's mouth pulled itself into a bitter grimace. "You ignored all of my owls over the summer."

Lily narrowed her eyes dangerously. "Yeah, well I had a lot going on." Her father had passed away during the summer, the real reason that she didn't answer his owls' posts. It was not his fault, but she couldn't – didn't – want to talk to anyone about it. His choices had chosen a path for him, that ran opposite to hers otherwise when his owls had come, she would have held onto each one as if life depended on it.

"So much that you couldn't write back?" Even though his mouth was practically snarling, his eyes were pleading for forgiveness.

Lily shook her head. "I was kind of busy dealing with my dad dying." Her voice was cold and bitter, but she couldn't help it...not after what he called her.

Severus blinked a couple times before responding. "Your dad died?" He was never close to Mr. Evans. In fact, he had been rather intimidated of him, which Severus never understood, seeing, as he was a Muggle. Nonetheless, he did understand how important Lily's father was to her.

"That's what I said."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Lily let out wry laugh. "Tell the person who called me 'mudblood'? That's rich."

"Lily, can't you just forgive me?"

"No," Lily replied, shaking her head once more. "We were best friends for so long and what you said broke any trust and bond we once shared."

"Please," Severus tried to reach for her hand, but she stepped back instinctively.

"I have to go," Lily turned on her heel and walked away before he could stop her. Determined to put as much distance as possible between them, she hurried to the compartment. Once inside, she plopped down next to Marlene McKinnon who was shuffling a deck of cards. Marlene smirked at Lily, causing her porcelain face to dimple. "Run in with Potter?" She was easily the most beautiful person that Lily knew. She had an oval face with big hazel-blue eyes and long, elegant blonde hair. Boys they ran into thought she bore a pretty face but Lily knew that under the face, there was a smart and free spirited young woman. Marlene did what she wanted, when she wanted, and was incredibly clever.

Lily laughed sarcastically before sitting up and tucking her feet underneath her. "I would have welcomed Potter with open arms. Remember when Severus called me mudblood? He tried to ask for my forgiveness. Again."

Dorcas Meadowes, sitting across from them, smirked. "My, how the tables have turned."

Lily furrowed her eyebrows with a curious smile on her lips. "What is that supposed to mean?"

Dorcas chuckled and shook her head. "I have something for you, by the way," Dorcas pushed her long, chestnut colored hair out of her face. She pulled her woven bag up to her lap and, digging around moving items out of the way, she found a large square shaped envelope. Lily's eyes widened.

"Is that what I think it is," she asked excitedly.

Her friend smiled cheekily, before handing the record over. "My Aunt Donna went to the States over the summer and brought back some records she thought I would like. I saw this one and thought you would get more use out of it."

Lily handled the album delicately in her hands. "I've been itching to get an Iggy Pop record for months!" She gave Dorcas a look of deep appreciation. Everyone in Gryffindor knew that Lily was obsessed by music, and had a large collection of Muggle record albums. You could usually hear music blaring from her dorm room. "We'll have to listen to it tonight." She wrapped an arm around Dorcas's neck and hugged her tightly. "Thank you so much."

She felt relieved in a greater part, as a feeling of normalcy seemed to come over her. Marlene and Dorcas had come to her father's funeral and to her when she needed moral support. They knew that Lily didn't need special handling, just a caring heart. She just needed to get back to how things were before, if that was possible.

"You want in Lils?" Marlene handed her a stack of cards.

"Of course." She grinned, looking down. Some of Lily's fondest memories were of them playing poker and blasting music late into the night. She had taught them the gambling game in their first year and they had all become well skilled at it.

The train had finally reached Hogsmeade Station. Dark clouds were gathering above the castle, and a flash of lightning threw its large silhouette into sharp relief. As soon as Lily stepped off the train, she felt a thrill of excitement that earlier that summer she thought she would never feel again. Now that she could see the grand building before her, she felt as if she had finally come home.

Looking around at the students on the platform, Marlene started. "Is it just me, or do the first years get smaller every year?"

"You just need to stop getting taller," Dorcas replied, grabbing her friends and pulling them towards the carriages. What she said was true, Lily reflected. While she and Dorcas had stopped growing, Marlene had four inches on them. "Now use your vertical prowess and find us a carriage."

Lily's attention was suddenly caught by the sound of a familiar voice, although it wasn't directed at her. "Well, Moony, if you really object, I suppose we could just shave your head. Then everyone will be staring at your bald head rather than your face."

James Potter was smirking in his usual manner as he ruffled Remus' hair. Remus chuckled, shaking his head. "I quite like my hair where it is, Prongs."

Sirius Black came up on Remus' other side and draped one of his long arms over his friend's shoulder. "Then stop your bloody complaining so we can get a carriage."

"Yeah, I'm starving!" Peter chimed in coming up next to James, who smiled mischievously at his friend.

"Well let's not keep that appetite of yours waiting a minute longer, Wormtail," he jested.

Lily looked away before Potter could notice her looking in their direction, and followed Marlene and Dorcas to an empty carriage. She never understood the strange nicknames they had for each other, but she couldn't help but wonder about Remus' nickname 'Moony'. She couldn't shake the feeling that quite possibly what Severus had told her in fifth year might actually be true.

The Great Hall was loud with chatter as the students greedily enjoyed the bountiful feast before them. Once everyone was full, the plates cleared themselves, and Dumbledore rose to greet the sea of faces. Instantly, the chatter ceased and every face was turned to listen to their Headmaster.

"Welcome to another year at Hogwarts!" The old wizard beamed brightly at them all. "Whether this is your first year or last, I will require just a few moments of your attention. First, I would like to introduce your new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Anton Voss."

A young wizard, possibly only five years Lily's senior, stood up and bowed his head graciously. He was fair skinned with quite a bit of stubble that surrounded full lips. His dark blonde hair fell into piercing blue eyes. Lily could tell from all the excited whispers from her fellow female classmates, that she wasn't the only one who recognized how handsome this newcomer was. He seated himself back down as Dumbledore cleared his throat, and the hall fell silent once again.

"As always, I must remind you that the Dark Forest is strictly forbidden to all students." Lily noticed James smirk and give Sirius a knowing look. She wondered what that was about... "Furthermore, I feel the urgent need to remind you all that we are regrettably in a horrible war. While I am confident that no harm will come to you, we can never be too cautious. If you observe something that seems at all suspicious, please alert a teacher immediately."

A wave of murmurs swept the room, and Lily shifted in her seat uncomfortably. Was Dumbledore really concerned with the Death Eaters getting inside Hogwarts? At least that's what it sounded like to her. He continued, "Please do not feel alarmed at all. I reassure you that you are safe. Now it's off to bed! Off you go!"


	3. Chapter 3

08/05/15- This chapter was a lot of fun to write, but I can't say why without giving away too much information.

As always, I am not JK Rowling and I have no affiliation with her. All cannon characters belong to her.

Chapter Three

The previous night's storm was still pressing on, causing the Great Hall's ceiling to reflect churning dark clouds with flashes of lightning. Lily was sitting at the Gryffindor table, enjoying some eggs and toast, with a copy of the Daily Prophet in front of her. As she took a long sip of her coffee, she watched James Potter and Sirius Black sit a ways down from her, talking animatedly. Since the notion of what Remus could potentially be entered her thoughts, she couldn't help but wonder how far the other Marauders were involved with it. _This is silly,_ she thought. _Remus isn't a werewolf. I would know... everyone would know. You can't keep something like that secret._

She saw James look over at her, and she quickly looked away, pretending to be completely engrossed by the newspaper. Dorcas and Marlene joined her shortly, and Lily noticed that Dorcas looked rather anxious.

"What's the matter with you?" She asked.

"McGonagall will be bringing out our timetables soon, and I don't know if this new teacher will take anything less than 'Outstanding' for the N.E.W.T. level classes. I need that class if I want to become a Healer, and I got 'Exceeds Expectations'." She ran her hands through her dark hair nervously.

Marlene nodded her head towards the Great Hall entrance. "Well you're about to find out. Here she comes."

Dorcas whipped her head around and gulped. Lily took another sip of her coffee, feeling rather anxious herself. The three of them, well Lily and Marlene at least, watched patiently as McGonagall handed out time tables to the younger students. "Ah, Miss Evans, Miss McKinnon, and Miss Meadowes."

Dorcas wasted no time. "What does Professor Voss require for N.E.W.T. level classes?"

after a brief pause, Professor McGonagall gave her an appraising look. "Professor Voss is accepting students with at least O.W.L's of 'Exceeds Expectations'. I can only assume that you wish to continue with Defense Against the Dark Arts?"

Dorcas nodded eagerly. "Yes, Ma'am."

"Very well," McGonagall tapped her wand on a piece of parchment and handed it to Dorcas. "You now have the required courses for becoming a Healer." She then turned to Lily and Marlene. "Now, what about you two? Do you plan on continuing with Defense Against the Dark Arts as well?"

They both nodded. A couple minutes later, all three girls had their timetables with identical classes. They had a free period before their first class, Defense Against the Dark Arts.

Marlene and Dorcas wanted to walk around outside for a while, but Lily wanted to go to the library. "Hey, I want to look in the library for something. I'll catch up with you two in class." They nodded as she walked up the steps. Once there, Lily walked in, sure she was the only one there besides the horrible librarian, Madam Pince. She quickly walked over to the Magical Creatures section and found the book she had in mind. The book was a textbook copy of their third year's class, when they learned about dangerous magical beings.

She read what she had already learned: _'Werewolfry is a magical illness that occurs when a transformed werewolf bites a human and venomous saliva makes contact with blood. The victim is then forced to transform every month on the full moon. Whilst in the transformation, there werewolf has no memory or who he is and is very dangerous to anyone who crosses his path.'_

Lily shut the book angrily. What was she expecting? To find a passage that said, _Your friend, Remus Lupin, is a werewolf_? She put the book back up on the shelf, ready to start heading back to the third floor corridor where Defense Against the Dark Arts was.

"Fancy meeting you here, Evans." Lily jumped, knocking over her bag. Potter was leaning against one of the bookshelves across the aisle from her.

"Don't scare me like that, Potter!" She waved her wand and her book bag flew up into her hands.

He only smirked wryly, which irritated her even more. "What brings you to the library at this time? We haven't even had our first class yet."

"I could ask you the same question." She folded her arms neatly over her stomach.

"I asked first," teased James. He was evidently very amused, but Lily could have sworn he had an analytic look in his eyes. Had he seen what she was reading?

"It's not important," she shrugged as casually as she could. "I had forgotten something over the summer, and I needed to refresh my memory."

"Sure," replied James sarcastically. He pushed himself off the bookshelf, and Lily noticed he had grown a few inches the last couple months. She would barely come up to his chin now. "See you in class, Evans."

Lily watched him leave. She could put her finger on it, but there was something different about him. Realizing the time, she hurried out of the library.

"I am Professor Anton Voss. I am going to skip all the pleasantries and get straight to business, as I do not fancy wasting time. This term, we will begin with the Patronus charm. Who can tell me what the purpose of said charm is used for?" Dorcas' hand was the first in the air, but what surprised Lily was that Marlene's hand went up a half second later. Lily glanced at her suspiciously. Marlene had decent enough grades, but she took a more passive approach to class participation.

Voss however, called on Dorcas. "Yes, uh...What was your name again?" Marlene looked slightly put out.

"Dorcas Meadowes, sir." She lowered her hand. "The Patronus Charm is used as a shield against a Dementor."

"Correct," Voss replied. "Five points to Gryffindor." He waved his wand at the chalkboard, and drawings of different animals appeared. "A full bodied Patronus is the most powerful and takes on the the shape of an animal that reflects the characteristics of the witch or wizard casting it."

He then pointed his wand up into the air and shouted, "Expecto Patronum!" Ribbons of silver vapor shot from his wand and formed itself into a large, spectral cat. Lily instantly recognized it as a panther. Several students gasped in awe and a few even applauded.

"The key to casting a successful Patronus is happiness. You have to dig deep to find a happy memory that is so powerful that it consumes your mind, body and soul. Everybody stand up." They all rose from their seats. With another wave of his wand, the desks slid across the floor and were against the wall. Excited whispers rose amongst the students, Lily being one of them. She was quite anxious to start practicing, as charms were her favorite type of magic.

"Now, I don't expect any of you to be able to produce a corporeal Patronus today or even by the end of the term. They are extremely difficult to do. However, if I can get you to only create a shield form, then I will have done my job."

Voss sectioned them off into groups to start practicing. Lily was paired with an attractive Ravenclaw boy, Carter Thornfield. He was about a head taller than she was, had auburn hair and piercing blue eyes. They practiced for the rest of the hour, in which she been one of few students who had produced just a wisp of silver vapor. Carter had been struggling greatly.

"Charms aren't really my strong suit," he confessed at the end of class. "I hear you have a knack for them though."

Lily blushed and nodded. "Yeah, it's my favorite subject."

"Would you mind helping me out with the homework then?"

"Sure," Lily grinned and tucked her hair behind her ear. She had always thought that Carter was cute, but never had the chance to get to know him."When works for you?"

"Well," Carter pulled his timetable out from his bag. "Looks like I have a free period after Arithmancy tomorrow. How about then?"

"Perfect. We can use the empty classroom on the fifth floor."

"See you then," Carter smiled broadly, before walking away.

Marlene and Dorcas who had been waiting and watching anxiously rushed over to her. "You have a study date with Carter Thornfield!" Dorcas practically squealed.

"Shh!" Lily couldn't help but grin. "It's not a date!"

"Oh please," Marlene rolled her eyes. "You two will be snogging by the end of next week."

Lily blushed a deep shade of crimson. "Come on, let's go get lunch."

After lunch, they had double Potions. Lily had been dreading this particular class, mainly because Severus would be there. They had always sat together during Potions and helped each other out, but now that was out of the question. She followed Marlene and Dorcas into the dungeons and took a seat with them. Severus walked past her and sat next to Avery and Mulciber. An involuntary shudder went down her spine when she looked at Avery who glared at her maliciously.

"Alright everyone, settle down," Professor Slughorn waddled in front of his desk. The room hushed and everyone's attention was on him. "First and foremost, congratulations to all of you for passing your O.W.L's, and welcome to the N.E.W.T. level Potions class! We have busy and exciting year ahead of us, so I hope you're all ready to work your hardest!" He then waddled over to a table in the middle of the room. There were various cauldrons of different sizes, and each one contained a different potion.

"These are just a few of the potions that you may be required to make for your exams next year. We will be studying these and others this term." He stood in front of a cauldron that looked identical to water. Lily's time as Sev's friend meant learning about potions far above their current year. She knew exactly what that potion was.

"Can anyone tell me what this particular brew is?" Slughorn asked eagerly with a grin on his face.

Lily had been ready to raise her hand, but Severus had beaten her to it. "Veritaserum," he answered before he was called on. For a brief second, his cold eyes darted in her direction, causing her to slump her shoulders in frustration. If this was now going to be a competition between them, she wasn't going to back down.

"Correct!" Slughorn boomed. "Now I want you all to gather 'round this cauldron here." He indicated to the one closest to the Gryffindors. The entire class got up and made a large circle around it.

"Notice the mother-of-pearl sheen and how the steam rises in spirals? Anyone know what this one is?"

"Amortentia," Lily answered without raising her hand.

"Right you are, Miss Evans!" Slughorn beamed proudly at her. "Can you tell me what Amortentia smells like?"

"It smells differently to each person, based on what they are attracted to," she replied.

"If you don't mind me asking, Miss Evans... What is it you smell?"

Lily blushed slightly from being put on the spot, but answered, "Vinyl records, chocolate, and sandalwood." Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted Potter looking at her. She turned her head towards him and gave him a look that said, "Stop staring." He looked away, smirking mischievously.

Slughorn showed them two more potions, Polyjuice Potion and Felix Felicis. He then assigned them to brew the Draught of Living Death. It was one of the more difficult potions Lily had to brew, but not impossible. She glanced over at Severus who was fully focused on his potion, as always. She knew she would be progressing a lot faster if they were still friends and sitting together. Nonetheless, she was determined to make it on her own.

At the end of the hour, Lily sighed with frustration. Her potion wasn't the pale pink it needed to be, but was still a lilac color. She twirled her hair while watching Slughorn examine everyone's cauldrons. "Well done, Miss Evans!" He smiled graciously, nodding his approval. "Slower turns next time will give you the paler sheen you're looking for." Lily nodded with a half-smile, half grimace. A stupid mistake to make... slower turns.

He then walked over to the Slytherins' table. He bent over Severus's cauldron. "This one is near perfect!" He exclaimed. Lily was surprised at how happy she felt for Severus; He was a great potion maker, so it should come as no shock. Still, she felt like she had something to prove to him and to everyone else. She wanted to show them all she was just as good as any Pureblood witch or wizard.

Slughorn turned to face the class. "Mr. Snape is the winner! Take twenty points to Slytherin!" There was a light smattering of applause. "I want a foot long essay on the dangers of brewing the Draught of Living Death to be turned in next class." Right on cue, the bell rang, dismissing class.

Please Review! It really is appreciated! Until next time!


	4. Chapter 4

I don't own anything in the Harry Potter universe. All characters you recognize belong to Queen Rowling. All hail the Queen!

Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter Four

As promised, Lily met up with Carter between her first class and lunch. He was still struggling to get even just a wisp of a Patronus. "I believe you are thinking too hard and not feeling enough," Lily commented. "You need a happy memory that consumes you. What memory are you using?"

Carter gave her a half smile. "That's a rather personal question," he replied.

Lily grinned but continued. "Well, yes, but I need to know if it's strong enough or if you should use a different memory."

Carter leaned against one of the desks and folded his arms across his chest. "I was thinking of when my brother and I went sledding the year before I came to Hogwarts."

"Are you and your brother close?"

"We were," Carter replied slowly. "He died in my third year."

Lily stood up and walked over to him. "Carter, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to pry."

Carter simply shook his head. "Don't worry about it. He was always very sick growing up. His death wasn't unexpected."

"You're muggleborn, right?" Lily asked. Carter nodded. "If…if you don't mind me asking, how did he die?"

"He developed cancer when he was toddler. My parents did everything they could, but in the end it wasn't enough."

"So this memory you have of you and him sledding, it was a time when he was strong?"

Carter nodded again. "Yes, the doctor told us he was in remission. Two months later, it was back."

"Well now I can understand why you chose that memory, and I can help you use it more efficiently." Lily moved so she was stand next to him and he stood up straight. "Now you can't just picture the scene. You have to put yourself back there. Remember the smells, the sound of his laughter, how the wind stung your face as you went down the hill. Let it fill you up completely."

Carter closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Are you there?" Lily asked.

"Yes," he replied and opened his eyes.

"Alright, try it again," Lily stepped to the side to watch.

"Expecto Patronum!" Carter shouted so loud, Lily had to cover her ears, but she watched as a silver ribbon emerged from Carter's wand. They were both grinning from ear to ear.

"Carter that was incredible!" Lily was practically bouncing on the balls of her feet. "You've got a strong foothold, and now you can start trying for a shield form."

He was beaming. "That—I never expected to be able to do that."

"You just have to keep practicing. It will take time, but I believe you'll eventually start producing a corporeal one. You just need to focus."

"Your turn."

"My turn?"

"Yeah," Carter smirked. "I told you mine so now you can tell me yours."

"You're cheeky," Lily remarked. "But why not?" She pulled herself up on a desk and crossed her legs. "A couple years ago, I got to go see The Ramones in concert when they were in London. It was packed and I was constantly bumping into people. When they came on stage, the roar of the crowd was absolutely deafening. I danced the whole night and was sore for days, but it was the best night of my life."

"Sounds like a wonderful night," Carter mused.

Lily smiled pleasantly, recalling the memory. "It was."

The following morning, James was at the Gryffindor table, bent over a small piece of parchment, writing:

 **GRYFFINDOR QUIDDITCH TEAM TRYOUTS**

 **10AM QUIDDITCH PITCH**

 **SEPTEMBER 11TH**

He needed to get this to McGonagall as soon as possible. The sooner they had tryouts and he picked a new team, the faster they could start practicing. It was his first year as captain, and he was fiercely determined to bring Gryffindor to victory. Sirius just arrived and took the seat next to James. You're not wasting any time, mate."

"Can't afford to," James shrugged as he tucked the parchment away in his bag. He would give it to McGonagall later that day before class. "I have something I need to tell you."

Sirius stuffed some toast in his mouth before James had finished speaking. "O-ay."

"Classy, Padfoot," James rolled his eyes and lowered his voice. "Anyways, Moony's suspicions are right. I caught Evans in the library the other day looking up werewolves."

"I've told you before that girl is too smart for her own good," Sirius replied.

"We have to tell Moony. It's not for any of us to decide if Evans should know… it's his."

"Of course," Sirius finally swallowed his food completely. "The real question is can Evans be trusted with this?"

"I have no doubts," James started tentatively, "but it's Moony who'll be carrying that burden. He has his whole life."

"Agreed, mate."

Remus and Peter came in the Great Hall and sat down next to the other two Marauders. Remus was looking rather pale and peaky, but greeted them with his usual smile. "Good morning," he said as he poured himself some tea.

"Transfiguration today," Sirius commented, while he stuffed more food into his mouth.

"Yeah, and?" James shrugged, not all concerned since he was top of the class when it came to Transfiguration.

Remus looked at him darkly. "Careful Prongs. Transfiguration is supposedly more difficult at the N.E.W.T. level."

"Yeah," Peter chimed in, "I heard Alice Graves had a panic attack last year during one of McGonagall's lessons."

James shrugged again, indifferently. He was sure that if he and his friends had successfully able to become Animagi without anyone knowing, then he could handle anything McGonagall threw at them. He watched as Marlene and Evans came into the Hall. Marlene caught his eye and she made her way over to him. "Hey Captain," she beamed at him. "Have you decided on when tryouts are?"

"Marley," James started, using the nickname he'd given her when they were eight, " I told you over the summer that you do not have to try out. I'm keeping you." He glanced at Lily briefly and continued, "You would be difficult to replace, so don't put me in that position."

Marlene rolled her eyes but smiled anyways as she sat down across from him. He noticed Lily didn't look too pleased, but she joined them anyways. "What positions are needed this year?"

"Seeker, one chaser and keeper," James replied. "Try outs are a week from Saturday, so plan on being there. I need all hands on deck so we can pick a winning team this year.

Marlene nodded. "I'll be there." She snagged the muffin on James' plate and took a bite out of it before he could protest.

However, James hardly noticed. He was now watching Lily who had just downed an entire mug of coffee. "Thirsty, Evans?" He asked, raising his eyebrows.

Lily wiped her mouth with a serviette before looking at him. "I was up late last night, Potter, if you must know."

"I was asking a simple question," James snapped back. "No need to bite my head off."

"How could I with how big it is?" She spoke before thinking.

James gave her a dark look before he got up and left. Lily knew she shouldn't have let her temper get the best of her, but part of her blamed Potter for her friendship with Severus ending.

"Nice going, Evans," said Sirius. He and the rest of the Marauders stood up and followed James out of the Great Hall.

Marlene was shaking her head, and said, "Lily, you're my best friend, and I love you but sometimes you can really be a bitch."

"Gee, thanks Mar," Lily rolled her eyes and poured herself another cup of coffee.

"I'm serious," Marlene continued. "I grew up with James and he's not as bad as you think he is."

"You've already told me this a hundred times," said Lily. "I know he's practically your brother, but that doesn't mean I have to like him."

"Your paths are going to keep crossing as long as you're my friend, so you might as well make an effort to be at least civil."

Lily eyed Marlene for a moment. "Fine, I'll try, but I make no guarantees."

He woke with a start from a nightmare about garden gnomes, and yanked back the covers to make sure his toes were still intact. "Bloody gnomes," James muttered under his breath. Once he caught his breath, he noticed a rumbling in his stomach. All three of his friends were asleep, so he took special care not to make too much noise while extracting his invisibility cloak and the map from his trunk. Tucking both under his arm, he went downstairs into the common room and stopped abruptly. Evans was sitting at the coffee table, but had her head resting on her arms. There were books and parchment surrounding her and she was snoring softly.

James noticed the fire had just about died out and there was definitely a chill in the air. Despite the fact he was still peeved at her for her remark at breakfast, he wasn't going to let her freeze. He grabbed a blanket from the couch and draped it over her shoulders. He turned away and walked towards the portrait hole.

At that moment, Lily's eyes fluttered open, noticed the blanket on her and saw the back of James' head leaving through the portrait hole opening.

* * *

Ahhhhh. Been busy, but I have been trying to work on this when I can. Please review! Thanks!


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